


Here Comes the Groom('s Father)

by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle



Series: Estelle is Trying Her Best but Those Olympians Make it Like...Really Hard [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Gen, HERE WE ARE AGAIN, Hades is just...so annoyed and confused, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Nico is an awful babysitter, Poseidon is officially team mortals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-08-20 08:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20225089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle/pseuds/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Summary: "Sir?" Charon called, shoving a soul away when they tried to jump in the boat "What's the verdict?"Hades tossed him the drachma and sighed."Technically...No rules were broken. It appears Mr. Snuffle Puff's spirit will meet the judges of the Underworld." He said and looked down at the cat. "Good luck.""Mister who now?" Charon asked, eyes sparkling for a moment as Hades glowered at him. Mr. Snuffle Puff jumped on the boat, knocking Charon's sack of coins into the river as he did so. "Son of - you'll be judged of that!" Charon scowled, trying to grab at the coins. Hades sighed walked away. He really hated Estelle Blofis.OrEstelle Blofis is determined to get Hades to his son's wedding. Little does she know she has been annoying him for years now. Percy loves and supports his little sister as she annoys Olympus.





	Here Comes the Groom('s Father)

**Author's Note:**

> this was low key a race bc I put this in my drafts a month ago and forgot to save it on my computer so it was a panic to publish it b4 it got deleted tomorrow. But it happened! It's here! If you haven't read the other two fics don't worry about it. Just know Rick gave Percy a little sister and I'm a big fan. 
> 
> Enjoy :D

"Nico this is Estelle."

"...wow." Nico said, looking at the baby with the smallest of grimaces. It was...Alive. Ten fingers. Ten toes. A face. Hair. He wasn't sure if she was cute, honestly. He wasn't around a lot for the beginning of life kind of thing. Maybe all babies looked like...That.

He had done so well avoiding Percy's sister for the past year and four months. It was tragic he had been roped into meeting her now.

"I _know_," Percy beamed, looking down at the baby with a dopey smile. "She's the best." He added on with a serious nod towards Nico. Right. He'd just go ahead and make note of that. "Also...Here you go." He said, holding her out. Immediately, panic took over.

"Oh, no. I'm good. I - alright." He said when Percy pretty much dropped Estelle onto him so he had no choice to either hold her or be the asshole who dropped the the one-year-old. "She's...I'm honestly not that good with kids, Percy. Take her back." He said, holding her out as Estelle attempted to grab his eyebrow. Percy gave a long sigh, but didn't reach out for his sister.

"I'm sorry for this Nico...I am."

"What?" Nico asked, bewildered "Take the baby back, Jackson."

"I'm afraid I can't. Everybody has to like my sister. That's the rule." He said with a shrug "If you don't feel that way...I guess I'll leave her with you until you do."

Oh, he has _got_ to be kidding.

"I like her. I like her _so much_ \- don't. Damnit, don't walk away from me. _Percy_." He hissed as Percy had the goddamn nerve to walk out of the room, leaving Nico alone with Estelle gurgling in his arms. He knew he shouldn't have come here. If it wasn't for Sally's cookies and Paul's stellar lasagna he might not have been so easily fooled into meeting Estelle. Now he was stuck in an under-the-sea themed nursery with probably the most loved baby on the planet.

Estelle slobbered.

"If you don't cry...We should be okay." He muttered, looking around. Maybe he could put her in the crib? That seemed like a safe spot. He walked over only for Estelle to immediately scream at the top of her lung the moment he shifted forward. "Just kidding." He said, pulling her back. "Tricked you. Haha." He added, nervously. The door was closed and honestly...Nico wasn't sure if he was talented enough to hold a baby _and_ open the door. Nor could he throw a drachma in to call Will for help.

He supposed there was only one thing he could do.

"Please tell me you have some sort of baby experience." He asked the zombie. He could at least summon things with just his mind. He hadn't foreseen the skill coming in handy in this situation but...Well. It is what it is. The zombie held out its arms and Nico could have cried in relief as he handed Estelle off. Unfortunately...The relief was short lived. The zombie and Estelle both disappeared with a pop moments later.

"...Son of a-"

* * *

Honestly, Hades had not been expecting the baby.

In fact...He was pretty confused about why the baby was here. Or why a zombie was bowing as he placed the infant on the ground like a sacrifice.

Sure, in the past Hades had been honored by receiving certain souls. Especially those that were pure and innocent if a child or saint had died. Something like that...but it was very rare and he was pretty sure this baby was still alive.

"Oh," Persephone said as she looked at the little girl sitting in front of Hades' throne "Another child?" She asked, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Hades tried to think back...No. No mortal had caught his attention within the twenty-first century. He tilted his head at it.

"Not to my knowledge...I'm not sure why it's here." He admitted. The girl looked to be maybe a year or so old, stumbling as she tried to get up to walk around. Hades was pretty sure he shouldn't be letting this mortal child just roam around the Underworld but he was still trying to process what was happening. The girl finally managed to stand up after a couple of attempts before looking around and spotting the two deities watching from thrones in front of her. She stared. They both stared back. He almost expected her to burst into tears but instead she pointed at him.

"Ah." She announced and fell back down.

"Do you think it is a sign from the Fates...?" Persephone suggested, though she didn't look very convinced. "Or an omen?"

Before Hades could comment there was another yell as shadows flickered around them and a figure fell onto the floor with a string of cursing. Hades closed his eyes. At the very least he knew what _that_ omen was. He watched as his son muttered under his breath before jolting up to look around.

"DON'T HURT THE BABY!" He shouted, making Persephone jump. Hades rose his eyebrows. Nico looked _awful_. His hair was mused in a dozen different direction with dark shadows under his eyes that told him he had been shadow jumping for quite a few times. The baby looked over at him and gasped in delight, clapping her hands at Nico's sudden appearance. "Oh thanks the _gods_." Nico said when he saw she was moving, running a hand over his face. "I thought you had died." He told her and the baby giggled.

"Ah!" She said, pointing at him.

"It isn't _funny_," He complained and looked around, eyes murderous "Where is that _stupid_ zombie? When I get my hands on you..." He muttered, scooping up the little girl only to get his hair pulled. "Don't." He whined, trying to push her hand away.

"Am I to assume this child is...Yours?" Hades asked, trying to do a quick calculation in his head on how old his son was. Did societal standards still dictate child bearing years to be so young? He didn't think so...Nor did he know his son _had_ a child. He had just seen Nico last month. What had he _missed?_

"Yeah. Well, not _mine_." He added hastily, possibly seeing the absolute shock on Hades' face. "I was supposed to be - _stop pulling my hair." _He growled but the girl didn't seem frightened. She only laughed and continued her attempts to yank at him. "Why me?" He moaned "This is _Percy's_ fault! He has this stupid rule that everyone has to like his sister which isn't even a real rule. Not everyone in the world is going to like her - but _no_. And since I'm the only one who hasn't bonded with this dumb baby he decided I have to watch her until I'm won over! Estelle!" He added with a frustrated huff when the girl grabbed his nose.

Persephone gave her husband a silent look. Hades returned it. They didn't need to have known each other for centuries to understand one another. This was clearly a very peculiar conversation. Nico - while definitely less formal than most of his children - had never just popped into the throne room and starting ranting about mundane things like babies. Still, Hades could tell his son was clearly too frazzled to realize he hadn't bowed or addressed his father by name.

"And I just asked the stupid zombie to watch her for five minutes so I could call Will and he _kidnaps_ her!" He yelled. The baby - Estelle apparently - tried to mimic him by also yelling out in defiance. "Where is he anyways? You're going to be deader than you already are when I summon you again!" He shouted "DEAD!"

"Dead!" Estelle agreed. Nico immediately froze. Hades wasn't entirely for sure what silenced him so abruptly until he took a very long breath and closed his eyes.

"...Please don't say that again."

"Dead!" Estelle reiterated. Nico bit his lip and looked at the ceiling of the room.

"Estelle. _Please_."

"Dead!"

"Oh my gods, don't do this to me. Your first word _cannot_ be dead. Listen. Estelle. Percy said your mom has been trying to get you to say mama for months. Go with that."

"Dead!"

"Do you want your brother to annoy until _I'm_ dead? Because that's what's going to happen when he finds out."

"Dead!"

Nico huffed and looked at her for a few moments. He paused, tilting his head before slowly looking at where Hades and Persephone were still silently waiting for this whole thing to make more sense.

"...Do you think anyone would noticed if I dipped her in the River Lethe real fast?" He asked. Hades mused. He supposed technically that might work...She was young enough that maybe nobody would give it a second thought. Before he could voice his opinion, Persephone made a strangled noise.

"Do _not_ put that mortal into Lethe." She said firmly "Just return the baby, child. Say someone else taught her the word."

"Sure...I'm sure they'll believe that coming from the child of _death_." He muttered and yawned "I'm going to give her to Will. He likes babies. He can have her." He said and blinked a few times. "Maybe after a nap." He added thoughtfully. Persephone put her face in her hand.

"Dead!" Estelle tried and Nico's previous fatigue seemed to briefly leave him. "Right. Okay...Actually. Father?" He asked, turning to him warily "Could I have one of the pearls that takes you out of here? I can't shadow travel with her like this." He said. Estelle nodded as if she knew what was going on...Honestly, she might have a better idea than Hades. This was still a very foreign experience for him.

"I...Yes." He decided a little uncertainly. He tried to think of something godly - or even fatherly to say but...Yeah. That was all had.

"Thanks." Nico said and walked over to grab the pearls Hades had summoned from him before throwing it down. Silence followed as the king and queen watched him float away with the baby happily yelling 'dead' as they floated up towards the ceiling. Persephone tilted her head.

"...So would that be Poseidon's child?" She asked "It didn't smell like a demigod."

Hades decided he was done asking questions.

* * *

Okay, so Hades _usually_ felt annoyed by how much work he had to do compared to his brothers but this? This was ridiculous. Uncalled for. Completely unnecessary. It was definitely someone's idea of a joke. 

"Um...So any idea how to handle this boss?" Charon asked, gesturing to the situation before them. "He...Technically has a coin."

"It's a cat." Hades pointed out. Charon nodded. "Why does a _cat_ have a drachma to get into the Underworld?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. They were at the edge of the River Styx where crowds of souls were all looking at Charon's boat wistfully. A few were even inching to hop in until Hades glared at them. Others were already in the boat - cash and cards ready to be taken by the ferryman.

"He doesn't just have a drachma..." Charon said and gestured back down at where the cat was watching them. Hades frowned, letting his powers prod at the spirit in confusion before dropping his mouth open.

"This creature was given a warrior's funeral?" He asked "A proper _Greek_ funeral? For a warrior?" He said and put a finger to his temple "It's a _cat_. A house cat no less! It fought no battles. I - how did someone burn a shroud for this thing?" He demanded and took a long breath. Fine. Okay. Internally he wondered if Zeus or Poseidon had any sort of comparable issue to deal with. He hoped more mortals kept polluting the sea and sky before looking back down at the cat. If it was given a proper funeral then technically it had the right to be judged to go to the Elysian Fields. 

Curiously he knelt down, gently tugging the drachma from the cat's mouth so he could peer into it. Immediately, mist swirled and his gaze left the Underworld, floating somewhere in the past.

"Estelle..." A voice said and Hades tried not roll his eyes. Of _course_ this was Percy Jackson's work. "I know this sucks, guppy. I'm sorry."

"I don't want him to be a dead!" A little girl sobbed "He's going to come back, right?" She asked and the scene cleared to show the son of Poseidon sitting at the end of a princess themed bed as a girl rubbed tears from her eyes. She was wearing what looked to be the most gothic outfit Hades had ever seen...Which was saying something because he knew a thing or two about goth. Her glittery tutu was black. Her mismatched socks were both some shade of black with one going up to her knee and the other her ankle. Her shirt (which was inside out) was also black and most importantly her hair and eyes appeared to have been smeared with black ink. Percy grimaced at her. "Mom said we wear black when...When people die...So - so this will make him come back, right?" She asked, voice wobbling.

"No...Estelle, it doesn't work like that." Percy said gently and the girl wailed.

"Mr. Snuffle Puff was my _best friend_." She cried and her brother rubbed her shoulder in consolation.

"I -hey." Percy said, facing lighting up with realization "Hey, guppy. You know what? I have an idea." He said, kneeling in front of his sister as she wiped snot from her nose. "Do you remember when we talked about my family?"

"Th- the mean ones?" She asked through sniffs. Percy nodded.

"Yeah. So my, uh...Uncle. He watches all the dead souls. Whenever someone dies they go to his palace. There's different places you can go if you're good or bad or something in between." He explained. Estelle nodded, tears briefly set aside to listen closely. "I bet you if we give Mr. Snuffle Puff a proper funeral - like we do for people on dad's side of the family - he'll get put someplace really nice." He said. Estelle considered this.

"Like a castle?" She asked. Percy shrugged.

"Um...Maybe. Maybe he can live by a big river lots of fish." He suggested and Estelle considered, smearing more black ink across her face as she tried to wipe away the remaining tears.

"Okay." She whispered "How do you do a proper funeral?"

The scene disappeared. Hades was left staring at the cat.

"Sir?" Charon called, shoving a soul away when they tried to jump in the boat "What's the verdict?"

Hades tossed him the drachma and sighed.

"Technically...No rules were broken. It appears Mr. Snuffle Puff's spirit will meet the judges of the Underworld." He said and looked down at the cat. "Good luck."

"Mister who now?" Charon asked, eyes sparkling for a moment as Hades glowered at him. Mr. Snuffle Puff jumped on the boat, knocking Charon's sack of coins into the river as he did so. "Son of - you'll be judged of that!" Charon scowled, trying to grab at the coins. Hades sighed walked away. He really hated Estelle Blofis.

* * *

Hades didn't want to know... But he felt that as reigning lord of the Underworld he was required to ask.

He just wasn't sure what question to start with.

"...why?" He decided and Nico paused.

"Hello father." He greeted, shifting the squirming black bag behind him with a bow of his head. "I didn't expect to find you here."

Hades almost wanted to point out he _lived_ here but knew his son was probably trying to distract him from whatever was in that bag. He opened his mouth to tell him as much when there was a frustrated huff.

"Are we _there_ yet?" A voice asked from the bag. Nico looked at the ceiling as if he hadn't heard anything, refusing to meet Hades' gaze.

"Is there a child in that bag?"

"Ah," Nico said and looked behind him. "Um...Yes, my lord." He nodded and grimaced. "Yeah..."

"I would prefer if you to expanded upon that." Hades added, feeling his concern and irritation rise. Nico pursed his lips and subtly aimed a kicked at the bag behind him. There was a gasp of affront.

"Remember that baby the zombie stole?" He asked "It's the same one...but older now, obviously. Sally said she trusted me. I don't know why. Percy didn't know why either. Nobody does, really." He said. Hades tried to find an answer to that - quite honestly he wouldn't trust his son with anything alive either - but was saved from finding one when the bag gave an exasperated sigh.

"_Nico__!_ When are we going to see the puppy?" A small voice asked and Hades nodded. That brought him to his next question. _Why was she here?_

"Estelle. I have told you a _thousand_ times - it not a puppy. It's a monster! A horrible thing with three heads and-"

"I want to see him!"

"No! You-" Nico ran a hand over his face and glared "I told her if she didn't listen I was going to take her to get eaten by Cerberus...but apparently she _wants_ to meet him so-"

"Percy says Cerberus likes red rubber balls!" The child's voice answered "Who are you talking to?"

Nico took a long breath.

"_Percy_..." He growled and clawed at his chest to make the Greek sign for warding off evil. Hades didn't blame him. The guy was a nightmare. "I'm taking you to the Field of Punishment instead...We're going to see a guy push a rock up a hill instead."

"That sounds _boring_."

"Too bad!" Nico told her and heaved the bag back up "If you won't be scared then you get to be bored."

"I could have been bored at _home_."

"I don't care, Estelle. You're going to bored where I tell you to be bored because I'm in charge." Nico snapped. There was a long moment of silence where Hades was still trying to find some sort of comment to give when the bag spoke again.

"...Uncle Leo says Will is in charge."

"_You_-" Nico hissed, dropping the bag with a thunk "I'll leave you here!"

"You will not." Hades interjected.

"I will not." He shouted at the bag though Hades could have sworn he saw him roll his eyes. Normally that might warrant getting blasted into nothing but Hades only had two demigod children at the moment so he probably should be frugal with them. Besides, he was still trying to process that his son decided to bring a _mortal child_ to the realm of the dead as a form of punishment. It seemed ridiculous and Hades was kind of embarrassed at having helped create Nico.

On the other hand...Eh. Kind of made sense.

"Ask me before you drag anything living down here." He said and turned away. He wished Persephone was here. He needed her clarity in times like this. From behind him he heard another thump.

"I'm telling Percy on you!"

"Oh wow...I'm so scared...Not _Percy_. Spare me from the guy who can't eat pancakes without getting whipped cream on his nose."

"I'm telling Annabeth on you!"

"Whatever, Estelle."

* * *

"Hi." A pause "It's me again."

Hades made a note to reserve a special place in the Fields of Punishment for Estelle Blofis.

"I owe you an apology..." Hades paused at that, hand freezing in the midst of waving her prayer away. He certainly didn't hear those words very often. Maybe that was what made him hesitate as she started speaking again "Annabeth said it was stupid of me to barge into the throne room and Annabeth is usually right..." She began, voice wavering. Hades scoffed. It definitely was...Eventful. The mortal had some gall bursting into Olympus during the Winter Solstice to give Hades an offering in order to revive her (supposedly) dead brother.

"I...I just thought he was dead, you know? I was scared. I didn't mean to...To doubt you or bother you so much. I thought you were purposely keeping him from me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed that. Just...Gods. They are easy to assume the worst in, I think. I want to hold them accountable. Like how we hold humans accountable for things. Everyone keeps telling me it doesn't work that way...I'm a bad listener. Always have been... But it looks like you're pretty good at listening. You've dealt with all my prayers and me sending Nico to bug you by just listening. I guess I just want to say thank you. I know Percy isn't your favorite demigod. You didn't have to help him...Thank you."

The words caught at the end with emotions that Hades knew only humans were capable of feeling. There was a long moment of silence where he expected her to say more, but there was only silence to signify the prayer had ended. He sighed, staring in front of him to where Perseus Jackson himself sat. He wasn't sure Estelle Blofis would be thanking him for long. The demigod didn't seem very...Alive. He just sat there. Staring blankly at a wall like it was hypnotizing him.

"The girl again?" Persephone asked, tilting her head as she walked in with Demeter tailing behind much to Hades' dismay. He nodded. "Poor child. Death does strange things to mortals." She noted, patting his shoulder as she passed by. Demeter scoffed as she made herself at home. Hades had forgotten he'd technically invited her into his domain. He wished he hadn't.

"It isn't just death, sweetheart. It's her _family_. I could never imagine something so close to my heart being snatched away - oh wait." She said and looked directly at Hades "I can."

"Mother." Persephone chided and curiously looked over at where Percy Jackson was still staring ahead. Hades felt his brows crinkle together. He tried to imagine losing Zeus or Poseidon. He couldn't say the idea sounded too terrible. His brothers were _awful_. Still...He couldn't imagine what the universe would look like without them. Even if he was the eldest nothing had really made sense in his father's stomach. It was only darkness and then everything as he knew now. Perhaps it was like that for this girl. She simply didn't know the world without her brother in it.

"She'll be fine," Demeter mused "Even if he doesn't work again. Your boy knows this loss, Hades. He'll lead her through." She said and Hades' mind jolted for a moment as her words registered. Nico. Immediately, he felt a stab in his stomach - something akin to guilt spreading inside. Here he was trying to understand the loss of a sibling when his own son had suffered through such a thing. How could Hades act as if this was new? He had seen the pain. The _agony_ Nico had gone through when he lost Bianca. He hadn't understood - he couldn't. Not really. Not truly... But he had seen it firsthand. He had seen what it had turned his son into.

Looking down at his hands, he took a moment to make sure his expression was clear before Demeter decided to comment on it. 

"Listen, I know I just prayed to you, Lord Hades. I just...I kind of realized that, um." There was a long paused and for a moment he thought she had left, her voice echoing around the empty caverns before she spoke again "This might offend you and I don't mean to but...You are the most human of them. I guess that shouldn't be surprising...Oceans and skies...They're pretty, but they aren't... They aren't real. Not like you are."

Hades would let her pass on the Fields of Punishment...For now.

* * *

"You're here to kill me, aren't you?"

Hades laughed. He couldn't help it. The whole thing was just so _ridiculous_. How was this child still alive? He was certain Zeus would have struck her down by now - the fates _had_ to be shielding her somehow...Maybe even some greater force. He had no idea why any great deity would choose to shield this one insignificant soul from the wrath of the world but maybe he was being too presumptuous. After all, reality was built upon the insignificant. Every breath from even the lowest among humans changed the world.

"No," He answered "Not today." He said and she looked up at him, swallowing. He could tell she had been crying. Her eyes were red and face still wet. For a moment his mind flickered to her bawling over that stupid cat so many years ago...And he felt a moment of pity for himself for having wasted so much time on this human. "Though what you said..." He clicked his tongue, looking out a window into the sky. Estelle's rant a few days prior had been _quite_ the scandal on Olympus "Many gods are offended." He smiled. She shrugged. "I prefer them offended." He said and looked around. The room was barren aside from clothes and blankets strewn around that could easily be packed away at a moment's notice. Estelle saw his glance.

"This is Percy and Annabeth's house." She explained, wiping her eyes "They're downstairs." She added, jerking her head. Hades nodded, lips pursing. He felt out of place here. Everything was so....Loud. Alive. Uncomfortably so. "Why are you here?"

"A moment of mercy," He said. Part of him wanted to sit down but there was nothing throne-like so he decided to remain standing, towering over where this teenager was sat at the end of her bed. "My son has told me your brother has not progressed." He said and Estelle's eyes fell. He didn't need to explain further. Nico had told him - often and loudly - how Percy's 'recovery' wasn't actually a recovery at all. He pretty much a zombie. Even Hades' powers couldn't fully resurrect him. "Would you like me to take him back?" He asked. Estelle's eyes snapped up, wide and shocked.

"To the Underworld?" She asked, voice rising ever so slightly. He heard the anger - and saw it wither away almost immediately. There was a long pause. "That is a generous offer, my lord."

"I'm well aware." He said with a roll of his eyes. "You should be honored I've allowed such an option."

"Why me? You're not going to ask Annabeth or my mother?" She tried, picking at a loose string on her comfortable. Hades scowled. This was not the deference he had learned to expect from mortals over the years...Then again, what did he expect? She was her brother's sister after all.

"For the same reason I decided to come in person." He said and she glanced at him questioningly "To see you in person. In your own world...To understand why..." He trailed off. There wasn't a drop of godly blood in her, he could tell. She was clear-sighted, yes but... Nothing magical or extraordinary. Not even a blessing from a single god in any religion. "You're nothing special." He announced, still puzzled. "Yet you have bullied your way into our world. Why?" He asked.

Estelle shook her head, a dry laugh following. It sounded bitter.

"Because you are my brother's family." She said, voice monotone - as if she had said it a million times "That makes you my family."

"You will be very disappointed with our family."

"Yeah," She sighed "Maybe."

Hades shrugged. He did all he could.

"Leave him here," She finally said, looking towards the door. "I'm going to get him back."

Hades wanted to laugh at her. Based on what Nico said...He was never coming back. Still, she had made it this far. He figured he wouldn't bet against her. Nodding, he didn't give her a goodbye as he disappeared back into the underworld, leaving Percy Jackson behind.

* * *

The invitation was _clearly_ not from Nico.

Hades figured this out from the following clues:

  * The handwriting was too nice
  * There was glitter on it
  * It existed
  * It said in parenthesis (_Not from Will or Nico_)

He flipped it over, a little baffled by the amount of effort put into the card. It had clearly been personalized just for him and had been sent via Hermes himself which meant _some_ sort of demigod or godly deity had sent it.

_Nico di Angelo and Will Solace Request the Honor of Your Presence at Their Wedding_

Another clue. Hades couldn't claim to know his son very well...but he knew that if Nico had indeed wrote this then mortal sarcasm was definitely meant for that sentence.

_June 15 at 5:00 in the Afternoon_

_Please RSVP_

Hades squinted. He hated keeping up with mortal lives - they went by so quickly and yet not at all. After all, to him Nico was definitely still a child...but he supposed by mortal standards he could be old enough to get married. To Apollo's kid? He tried his best not to burn the paper in frustration - Apollo was going to be annoying about this, he was certain. Also - and these were the most important questions - who was inviting him to this and _why?_

Gods didn't show up to mortal affairs. Poseidon and Athena hadn't even showed up to their beloved heroes' wedding (which he was grateful for because he did not need another world catastrophe on his hands). Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hades tried to figure out if this was Hermes' idea of a joke...And if so how he could torture him for a few thousand years in return. Sighing, he tossed it to the side.

"Delivery!"

"Excuse me?" He asked, turning to find Hermes waving with a large grin on his face as he leaned against the wall of his throne room.

"You got another letter." Hermes told him and with a great flourish of his hands revealed...Another invitation. It was identical to the previous one except underneath someone had print _Don't throw this one away, please._

Hades clenched his jaw.

"This is your doing." He growled, looking up at the messenger god. Hermes put a hand to his chest, eyes glittering with amusement as he gave a fake wail of despair.

"How you insult me, uncle! Must I be accused of everything?" He wailed and dug into his satchel to pull out more invitation. "I think she's worried you won't respond." He added and Hades looked at him.

"_Who?" _He asked and Hermes' smirk widened. He leaned in a little as if getting ready to share a juicy piece of gossip.

"The _mortal_. She's a riot. I love it when mortals think they can interfere in godly matters. Adorable." He chuckled. Hades looked at his ceiling. There were thousands - no millions now - no, _billions_ of mortal on just _this_ planet alone. Did Hermes really expect him to know which one? 

Then again...He already knew which one.

"Jackson's sister?" He asked, distastefully. He picked up the invitation again and rolled his eyes. "I will not lower myself to these standards." He muttered and flicked his wrist to the invitation went up in flames. Hermes dutifully handed him another. "Get out of my face."

"Just doing my job, uncle."

* * *

It had been a little over a thousand years since Hades had been invited into his brother's realm. One could understand why he was a little wary.

"Hades!" Poseidon yelled and the wariness skyrocketed. "Come, come. I have food." He said as if either of them needed to eat. Hades looked around. They weren't technically at _in_ Posideon's realm, but the beach seemed close enough. It was the worst. Hot. Sticky. Sand was pretty much everywhere and everything smelled like salt. He grimaced, stepping over a child's sand castle to walk to where his brother was happily waving.

"If your son died again then that's it. I'm not bringing him back to life." Hades told him bluntly. Poseidon shrugged, confirming Hades' worst fear...The Jackson kid was still alive. Perhaps it was a blessing that he hadn't entered Hades' realm yet. That could mean an eternity of annoyance. "Why am I here, brother?"

"Why are any of us here?" He asked and when Hades scowled, laughed "Fine. I've missed you."

"You have not."

"I have not." Poseidon agreed and propped his feet up on a cooler in front of the clumsily made lawn chair he was sitting in. He waved his hand and another chair appeared for Hades. "Come talk with me."

"If I wanted conversation, I could have found someone clever to speak to." Hades muttered but sat down anyways. The ocean was calm, waves crashing softly to the shore as children chased one another in the water, splashing and laughing loudly. Poseidon tilted his head back, taking in the sun with a small smile playing at his lips. Hades sighed.

"I owe you a congratulations," The other god finally said "I hear your son is getting married."

"No need to congratulate me," Hades told him "I had no hand in it. I only met the Solace boy once." He commented. By 'met' it was more of an...Informal introduction. The Solace child had gotten himself injured and Hades pretty much drop kicked his soul back to the living world before he had another Percy Jackson situation on his hands. These puny demigods needed to stop making his son sad. It was ridiculous.

"Still...An exciting time."

"We've had children get married before." Hades pointed out and narrowed his eyes "...she's put you up to this, hasn't she?" He tacked on, suspicion rising. Poseidon tilted his head in confusion. "The Blofis girl." It wasn't an unreasonable suspicion. Poseidon had received numerous prayers from her - especially during council meetings much to Zeus' dismay. "How is she not dead yet? What protection has she earned?" He complained and Poseidon shrugged.

"Admittedly...Mine this time." He said, taking the sunglasses off. "She's interesting, isn't she?"

"No." Hades told him "Not in the slightest. She has what _all_ humans have. An absurd view of the world that she thinks needs to be tailored to her beliefs."

"Perhaps," Poseidon agreed and looked back out into the ocean "But...Tell me. Why is it we have spent so long thinking ourselves above humans that we have not thought to lower ourselves to their standards?"

"Brother," Hades sighed. Did gods get midlife crises? If so, that was certainly what was happening here. "We have roamed this rock since the beginning. We've seen all the world's monstrosities and miracles. Humans only spend brief moments here. What insights could they possibly have?" He asked and when Poseidon handed him an absurd looking drink shaped like a coconut, accepted it with a bit of exasperation. "They live their lives constantly in pain."

"Yes...but they rather like the pain, don't they? Some of it at least."

Hades couldn't quite argue with that. He had seen humans interact with his realm in the strangest of ways. Despite the fear. The hatred. The _need_ to escape an inevitable death... They clung to life unlike any mortals he had ever seen. Trying in desperation to live everything in their fleeting moments. He leaned back, dusting some wayward sand off of him.

"Have you invited me here to talk of meager philosophy that has suddenly interested you?" Hades asked and took a sip of the drink. It was disgusting. Poseidon didn't seem to think so as he brought out his own and took a long sip of his.

"No, this is your invitation." He told him and Hades looked down to find another hideous black wedding invitation in his hand. He groaned.

"She's got you running errands for her now?" He snapped "I stand corrected. Clearly Estelle Blofis has some sort of magical powers to brainwash you." He said, snapping his fingers so the paper disappeared "This is an insult. I - more than _any_ of you - have cared for my children."

"Perseus thinks I'm a good dad." Poseidon grumbled and put his sunglasses back on. "That's _why_ she's asking you Hades. Believe it or not, she quite likes your son."

"I am not going to entertain a _mortal_." Hades said, standing up. "You have lost your mind...Or whatever was left of it." He told him, sneering. Poseidon shrugged. "You wish you learn about ridiculous mortal behavior? Go to your son. He is the pinnacle of human emotion." He said, rolling his eyes. Admittedly, Nico was similar in some ways but he wasn't going to point that out.

"Bye brother!" Poseidon smiled giving a wave as he marched off "Tell me how it goes!"

"I'm not going!"

"Send lots of pictures!"

"Damnit, Poseidon I just said-"

"Try not to cry!"

"This is the last time I visit you. Ever."

"You're my favorite older brother!"

"I'm you're only - Nevermind. Don't bother me again."

"Bye! Have fun!"

"Shut _up_, Poseidon."

* * *

"How did you get in here?" Hades asked, not even looking up from the new list of souls he was expected to torment for eternity.

"I broke in here when I was twelve, uncle. You might need to consider an upgrade in security."

Hades rolled his eyes and finally looked over at his nephew. He had lived a long life - by demigod standards anyways - perhaps nobody would care if Hades killed him. The thought was immediately vanquished when he saw who was with him.

"And why are _you_ here?" He asked Estelle. She held up a glittered invitation.

"I haven't gotten your RSVP yet. I don't know how godly mail systems work...I figured it was safer to deliver it in person." She told him and gave a low bow before placing at his feet. Hades stared. He wasn't sure he had met a mortal more stubborn or demanding. Letting his nostrils flare in annoyance, he leaned back and jutted his chin out, daring her to say another word.

She dared.

"Reyna told me about Jules-Albert." She said and Hades tried to place the name. Reyna...She was the Roman girl. Hades tried to connect what this demigod had to with his son's zombie, but the mortal had beaten him to it. "You wanted to do something that normal parents do but you didn't quite get how. Giving your son a zombie chauffeur was the closest you could get." She shrugged. Hades let his mouth part.

"How dare-"

"It's okay if you don't get mortal things," Estelle continued, unphased. "I don't get godly things either - but listen. I have an idea." She said, holding up her hands "I am very adept in mortal ways. _You_ come to the wedding - because that's something normal parents do - and I'll walk you through all the mortal stuff. Like a...Human translator." She said brightly. Hades blinked.

"Is she serious?" He asked Percy. The demigod was lounging the background with his sword over one shoulder, watching the scene with an almost sense of boredom.

"Yeah... She did something similar to my dad too. I think she's a god whisperer." He said, frowning a bit at the thought. "Hey, sis...Listen. I have some immortal enemies-"

"I am one of them." Hades interrupted and a look of genuine surprise flittered across the boy's face.

"We aren't cool? You brought me back to life! I-"

"Are annoying." Hades finished. Percy scowled.

"That's not grammatically correct." He muttered, confirming that he spent too much time with his wife. Hades ran a hand over his face. The mortal was still looking at him with wide eyes, hope gleaming in her expression. It really was pathetic. 

"You will not convince me, child."

"Nico will be sad if you don't."

"That's a lie."

"It is not." Estelle argued and paused "My lord."

Hades turned back to Percy. He wasn't sure why he was looking to him for help when he was useless in almost every situation.

"You could go in disguise." He suggested "Nico doesn't even have to know you're there."

"What?" Estelle frowned "But-"

"Compromise." Percy interrupted her. Estelle scowled but didn't argue.

"I'd rather just kill you both." He tried and Estelle's lower lip came out a bit. Percy didn't even looked concerned by the threat. On the contrary, he capped his sword to put a hand on his sister's shoulder.

"I'll make you a deal," She said and Hades closed his eyes "If you go...I will never bother you again. At least until I'm dead." She added and Hades tilted his head. To him, the time between now and when she would die wasn't very long. So it said something when he immediately considered it for the sole purpose of wanting even just a little bit of peace. Besides, if he said no and she died...Who _knows_ what her spirit would be capable of?

"...I will consider it."

"Yes!" Estelle said, punching the air. "I'll put you down. It's going to be great. I'm so excited!" She said, practically jumping up and down. Hades didn't bother to reply. He was leaving. They could find their own way out. He hoped they died.

* * *

"I can't believe you came!" Apollo squealed and Hades gave him the coldest, meanest, most threatening look he could give until the other good winced and moved away from him. This was a mistake. Such a mistake. A horrible, awful -

"Father?"

Oh no.

Hades turned to find his son looking incredibly frazzled and exhausted standing behind him. He blinked a few times before tilting his head and then narrowing his eyes. Hades just stood there. He didn't owe _anyone_ an explanation. Not even Nico.

"...Estelle." Nico whispered with a growl. Hades wanted to leave. This was uncomfortable. Before he could just snap back to the underworld, Nico sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have known she would meddle. I'm sure you have more important things to deal with."

This was true. Still, something was tugging at him as Nico said the words. His son seemed...Surprised. Not necessarily displeased. He tilted his head at him, trying to get a good read on what was happening. Nico looked at him, clearly expecting him to disappear into a wisp of smoke. Before he could respond, there was a gasp and Estelle herself came rushing into the room, hair half curled.

"You're here!" She beamed and Hades glared. "Sorry, I'm not ready. I can still be a mortal translator." She informed him and Nico cleared his throat.

"A what?" He asked, but was ignored as she looked around, clearly frazzled, for something or another. "Estelle!"

"Say hello," She instructed the god and Hades opened his mouth "Not in 'I am so powerful' way." She added. Hades stared at her.

"I am powerful. I have existed for thousands of years and could kill you without so much blinking. I have vaporized souls into nothing and have survived beyond what even a god should survive." He informed her. Estelle nodded and turned to Nico.

"Your dad says hi." She said and Hades shrugged. If that was how mortals acted then so be it.

"I...Okay." He said and tilted his head. He opened his mouth a few times as if to say something but couldn't quite find the words. Hades looked at Estelle again.

"He's here for the wedding." She told him. Nico turned to her, brows raising. "He's also walking you down the aisle."

"I'm what?" Hades asked, baffled. It had been a few thousand years since he'd seen a wedding. There was no aisle walking that he knew of. Estelle nodded.

"It's a mortal thing. Parents do it." She shrugged "Sometimes they cry. Annabeth's dad cried."

"I will not cry."

"Worth a shot." She said and was interrupted by Nico snapping his fingers.

"What did you _do_?" He demanded "Estelle. I _told _you not to meddle-"

"I never listen to you." Estelle pointed out "You _still_ haven't taken me to meet Cerberus...Why would I listen to a traitor?" She asked and Nico glared at her.

"Go curl the rest of your hair. I don't want a gremlin at my wedding." He told her and Estelle sniffed, tossing her curled hair over her shoulder.

"I don't know what you expected. You _are_ the groom." She told him and spun back to Hades "I'll be down the hall, my lord! Let me know if you need anything!" She beamed and dashed away before Hades could even react. He looked around. It was definitely beneath him to be here but...It didn't seem all bad. There was a excitement that buzzed around the area. At least he wasn't the only god here...Even if the other was Apollo.

"...you're really going to stay?"

Hades turned back to where Nico was standing, looking bewildered by the turn of events.

"Do you want me to?"

If he said no then Hades was _more _than happy to oblige. Though he supposed if he said yes...Well. This wasn't about Hades. Inwardly, he sighed. Poseidon's words were ringing in his ears - _b__ut they rather like the pain, don't they? Some of it at least._

Hades personally thought it seemed pretty awful to tie yourself to someone you would only have for such a short period of time. His relationships with mortals were painful it wasn't even _marriage_. Besides, so many things could go wrong and even in immortal marriages there were awful bumps and pains. At one point, Persephone had refused to talk to him for a whole decade. Why would _anyone_ wish to spend their very short life struggling with all of that just for some brief glimpses of happiness?

It was rather curious. Looking at his son, he felt a moment of understanding with Poseidon's change of heart. It would be nice to understand what Nico was thinking right now. To have access to part of him he could never understand.

"Um..." Nico said, rubbing his arm "I mean, it would be nice...But obviously that's ridiculous-"

"I'm a god. I can do what I want." He said and Nico's eyes lit with amusement as he nodded. The door opened again and this time a blonde headed boy walked in, eyes covered with his hand.

"Don't worry! My eyes are closed." He shouted, almost running into a wall. Nico grimaced.

"Will...You don't have to-"

"I am not going to risk our marriage being cursed, babe. I refuse to look at you until the correct moment." Will said, "Your eyes better be closed too!" He added and Nico rolled his eyes but looked away. "Anyways, I heard your dad was here and wanted to say hi!" He explained brightly. Hades stared. He turned back to Nico.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"Hey!"

"He has many redeeming qualities." Nico defended. Will gave a thumbs up in the general direction of his voice. In the process, he hit his hand on a table and started cursing. "...some redeeming qualities." Nico corrected himself. Hades looked the other demigod over.

"If you say so."

"I can't believe I'm marrying into this family." Will muttered and went to leave only to run into another wall. "I'm fine! I need to grab my first aid kit anyways. Percy cut himself already so I should take care of that." He grumbled and exited as gracefully as one could with their eyes covered. Hades watched him go. Alright. So this is what normal mortals did. Strange, but he would try to go with it.

"I'M BACK!" Estelle yelled, rushing into the room. She beamed when she saw Hades still standing there. "Awesome. Okay. My brother has already injured himself but Annabeth put that in the itinerary so we aren't behind schedule." She said looking around. "Ready?"

Nico shrugged.

"I guess." He said and Estelle nodded before rushing back out. "Um..." He added with a glance towards his father. "Thank you, by the way. For, you know, being here."

Was it still incredible awkward? Yes. Did Hades still want to leave? Maybe. Did Nico smiling at him make it less horrible? ...yes.

In the end...He decided the Blofis girl might not be so bad.

And it was not because of Jackson's stupid rule that everyone had to like her.

**Author's Note:**

> Try and tell me that Perseus Jackson did not gather all of his friends and family around in order to tell them that they had no choice but to like his sister. I also believe with all my heart that he will inform her kindergarten class that they must also abide by these rules...And that this will continue until the day he dies. 
> 
> Also... I stan a moody Nico. idk. The boy has had enough angst. I'm just here to annoy him.


End file.
